All I want for Christmas is......

All I want for Christmas is to learn how to take my time eating! HAHA, yes I still have not learned to take it slow and have been getting sick again. I don't always clump but I do get nauseous and burp allot.

On a lighter note I signed up to start training for the Country Music Marathon! The Marathon is at the end of April (which if I stay on track should be when I reach my weight goal). I never in my life thought I would participate in a marathon but this group is special it is called Hooping for Hope and the group will Hula Hoop the 1/2 marathon to raise money for the Hooping for Hope a charity that provides fitness classes for breast cancer survivors. I personally love hula hooping and can't wait to get started on my training!!!

There's a light at the end of the tunnel....

I am feeling much better now. I think my hormone levels are playing tricks on me so some weeks are bad but a little encouragement is all I needed (Thanks Kim!).

I had a holiday party/housewarming this weekend and that was great! I got to see all my friends and family and got to show off my new house. I did really well considering there was a ton of food around my house, I am trying to give it all away now so the temptation leaves, but so far I am doing good!

I am having an issue with not being able to eat in the morning with out getting sick. Also I have been eating to fast and making myself sick. So I am working on those things because clumping is a horrible feeling and the dry heaves that comes with it is painful!

I am defiantly on an up swing now and looking forward to the rest of the holidays!!

Dark Days

I am doing great with the food thing I started solids about 2 weeks ago and that is going well. The issue I am having right now is more of the emotional ups and downs. I feel horrible and angry oh so angry! I was warned that this might happen because of the effect rapid weight loss has on your chemicals in your brain that have to do with moods. I am not motivated to do anything! I REALLY need to start working out I know that will help with the foul mood but I can't seem to get myself going.

It seems that every little thing pisses me off right now, I really hope I can get over this soon because I hate feeling like this. But somethings I have no control over. If I am not angry I am crying, I can't seem to get myself together enough to get through the days. I go home and don't want to leave so I don't get anything done and then I just sit there knowing I could be working around the house and nothing sounds good enough for me to get up to do.

I am just feeling really alone and not motivated. I hope I can pull myself out of this depression cause it sucks being sad and angry all the time.

Also I am not loosing any weight right now and I know it has to do with my depression but also doesn't help with my depression (it's a double edged sword).